"He who guards his mouth and his tongue, guards his soul from troubles" Proverbs 21:23

"Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to utter any thing before God; for God is in heaven, and thou upon earth; therefore let thy words be few." Ecclesiastes 5:2

But I say unto you that every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account of it...  Matthew 12:36 

I am not, nor have I ever been, a “real” smoker.  I do remember that even as kids we used to play with our bubblegum ciggies and blow out the “smoke” which was really flour. But I didn’t try my first cigarette until I was 28 years old and I have to admit, it felt kind of cool to hold it and posture with it--to let it hang off my lip while I was talking, like some of my uncles used to do... 

Truth be told, I can’t smoke.  Although I tried, I never could get the hang of it.  I kept sputtering and coughing.  To look like I could, I would just hold the smoke in my mouth and then blow it back out.  And when I tried a cigar, I wasn’t much better.  THAT smell and taste stayed with me for days.  I’ve never tried a pipe but I always thought it made you look smarter somehow.  One of my favorite quotes:  “A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to put in his mouth.”

I am a stubborn sort, and would have kept trying, but the cost of smoking—the smell, the expense, the stain, and the disease—was never a price I was willing to pay just to look and feel cool.

As I continue to practice the spiritual discipline of reticence—or controlling my speech, I liken it to stopping smoking.  I’ve been trying not to “light up” to look cool, or to exhale speech that stains, leaves an odor, or causes me disease.  Just when I thought I was getting better at not “smoking” anymore, God allowed me to encounter someone who took that smoking image even further. 

Several months back, someone came up to me and was overwhelmingly negative.  Although he was just making conversation, he was complaining, sighing, and had a sour response to every topic mentioned—every one!  Afterward, I told my wife that it felt like someone was just blowing smoke in my face—I even remembered squinting while he was talking to me.  I then realized that in paying attention to my own reticence in my speech, I was becoming more sensitive to the noxious fumes of the speech of others.  In other words, even though I was trying to quit, I was still susceptible to the secondhand smoke of other people.  And, we now know that, literally, secondhand smoke can cause the same effects as if you were the one smoking--the same odor, the same stain, the same disease.  In fact, if you are around enough of it, people can’t tell that you aren’t the smoker.

As I reflected, and continue to reflect, on my encounter yesterday, I find myself asking for forgiveness not only for the cumulative effects of my own smoking on me, but for the secondhand smoke I have exposed others to.  I will work harder to avoid secondhand smoke when I can, and make sure not to judge so harshly those who have yet to kick the habit.   And when I can’t avoid the smoke-filled room, bathing in prayer and holding my own tongue has proven to be the best way to get rid of the stain and the odor.

Are you growing?  Ask yourself…

• How do I respond to secondhand smoke?  Is it effective?
• What if I had to “give account” of my speech lately?  Am I making others cough or am I a source of fresh air? 
• Is God always pleased with the words I speak?  Sometimes?  Occasionally?
• How would my life be different if I were more reticent in my speech?